DISCLAIMER:
This is an unfinished post. However, I tend to never finish
any of my posts which leads to a blog that is never updated.
Hence, I will now continue to post unfinished contents anyway
because I don't give a fuck.
I just took myself out of a toxic relationship for the second time with the same person last night. At this point, you would think I would have learnt my lesson but no. I still hope that one day we would end up together. Why? Quite possibly because I have never been in love or at least anything I have felt before had not been as intense as the feelings I have developed for him. All I wanted was to please him in any sense. Almost every single conscious decision I have made since meeting him was with a thorough consideration of whether he would like it or not. We had a lot of differences and he does not hold back when it comes to throwing hurtful words at me in the name of being honest. That contributed to me spending most nights and at times even during the day while out in public crying. It would always end with me blaming myself and then justifying his actions. But he's not entirely a monster. No, he is nowhere near to being a monster because how else would I even have fallen in love so deeply and have stuck through months of emotional torture? Truthfully, I do not think it is his intention to hurt me. We were just very much incompatible.
